


Bleeding Love

by BergaraHoe (flannelfeelings)



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Banter, Confessing Feelings, Confessions of love, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluffy, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Happy, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Lizzie Borden House, Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oh the gahdamn feelings, Periods, Pining, Trans Ryan, Trans man with a period, Unbeta'd, admitting feelings, confession of feelings, just cheesy fluff, ryan bergara - Freeform, shane madej - Freeform, slight angst, trans man, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22243567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flannelfeelings/pseuds/BergaraHoe
Summary: When staying overnight at the Lizzie Borden house, Ryan runs into quite a conundrum. Usually, he's prepared for things like this, but tonight, he's in trouble.When his best friend Shane offers a helping hand, Ryan finds much more than a simple favor.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 12
Kudos: 308





	Bleeding Love

**Author's Note:**

> dunno what this is just some cute fluffy trans ryan content? i actually love writing this so if anyone wants more like this im hella down
> 
> unbetad im trash
> 
> yes the title is a song by Leona Lewis...   
> sorry lol

Ryan Bergara was confident.

He didn’t feel the need to explain things about himself, or defend who he was. He’d known from a young age that he was transgender, and that didn’t change anything about who he was as a person. His family loved and supported him, his close friends treated him just the same as always, and the basketball coaches at his school were incredibly gracious in switching him from the girls team over to the boys, seamlessly.

He knew he was pretty lucky, and he never took that for granted. However, he also didn’t feel the need to broadcast the fact that he was trans to everyone. He didn’t owe anyone an explanation. The only time he really felt the need to mention it, was when he was dating someone. Not that it should change anything, in his eyes at least, but he did feel like he should tell whomever he was dating that he was trans. He wasn’t sure why exactly, but he’d rather get it out of the way than have to have an awkward conversation that could potentially break up a budding romance already in progress.

Though, that hadn’t really been an issue lately. Ryan couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a date. He was a workaholic, who constantly buried himself in Unsolved, and he was too busy traveling and writing with Shane to focus on anything as frivolous as romance.

Ah. Shane.

Ryan’s best friend and partner in crime on their show, who Ryan was coincidentally in love with. It wasn’t a long lasting crush, they’d been friends for nearly four years and Ryan had only been in love with Shane for...three.

But he never made any moves. He didn’t know if Shane liked guys...he didn’t know if Shane liked _anyone_. The man was a closed book; he almost never expressed romantic interest in anyone to Ryan, and he was worried about cartoon hot dogs more than anything else it seemed.

So Ryan suffered in silence.

It wasn’t so bad, after all, he got to travel the country with Shane. He got to share hotel rooms and journey to amazing historical landmarks with him. These were insanely intimate things that most people didn’t get to do with the one they love. He figured he should be grateful.

Still, it was hard sometimes. It got difficult to pretend he didn’t want to curl up in Shane’s arms at the sound of a door slamming in an empty building. It was tough to remind himself not to let his touch linger on Shane for too long, or it might be weird. It was never easy to keep their banter platonic, and not let himself get swept up in a bit.

On a night like tonight, where he and Shane were staying alone at the location, it was especially tricky. Shane and he had opted to share the bed (for convenience of filming after the crew left) in the Lizzie Borden house. It wasn’t so bad, except for the fact that they were now alone in a house where two people had been brutally murdered with an axe.

Ryan normally prepared for investigations well. He packed all of their necessities two times over. He was a worrier, after all, and the last thing he wanted was to be stuck in an abandoned asylum overnight without some basic care items. Tonight however, he’d forgotten one crucial item that he usually triple-checked.

And after his last trip to the bathroom of the night, he realized it was something he would desperately need. He hadn’t brought his menstrual cup, any tampons, or a pad, and he was now staring at toilet paper tinged red.

God. Fucking. Damnit.

He went over his options. He could go the ole’ makeshift pad route and stuff his briefs with TP. Not a great solution for an entire night. He could bite the bullet and bail on their entire investigation because of his stupid fucking uterus. He could come up with an elaborate excuse to cover up that he’d have to leave and get tampons from a gas station, but make Shane stay here.

Not really anything great in there.

A gentle rap on the bathroom door startled him, and he glanced over as Shane’s voice came through the wood, “Hey, man, you’ve been in there like a half hour. I know we had those chili dogs for dinner, but goddamn.”

A small smile broke across Ryan’s face, and he both hated and loved Shane for making him want to laugh in this awful moment.

“Out in a sec.” He called back, lying through his teeth.

Maybe he had straggler pad or tampon floating around in his backpack somewhere. He could rush out and try to rifle through his stuff to find one. It was really his only plan as of right now.

Sighing heavily, he pulled his briefs and sweatpants up, washed his hands, and stepped back out into the room.

Shane was reclined on the bed, leaning against the headboard as he held a folded over paperback in his large hand. He glanced up from the book as Ryan emerged, and offered the shorter man a small smile.

“I’m surprised there’s any of you left.” he mused with a chuckle.

Face flushed red, Ryan muttered a quick, “Shut up Shane.” And immediately went for his bag beside the bed. He could feel Shane’s eyes on him as he somewhat frantically rifled through his things in search of anything brightly colored that could be what he was looking for.

“Is everything...okay?” Shane’s voice now had a small hint of concern to it, and it made Ryan stop in his tracks. The other man was usually never stoic for even a moment.

“Yeah.” Ryan lied with a shrug, trying to avoid Shane’s gaze.

Shane set his book down on the nightstand, sitting up a bit as Ryan went back to digging around in his bag. His frustration was mounting as he’d scoured every inch of the dry fit material and found nothing of use.

“Did you lose something?” Shane inquired, that tiny echo of worry still present in his tone.

“My phone charger.” Ryan was ashamed at how easily he lied. He didn’t know why he couldn’t just admit the truth to Shane, he was his best friend after all. But there was something in him that worried over how Shane might react. Even though Ryan knew there was nothing wrong with him, and he had nothing to apologize for, he still couldn’t help the nagging concern that his friend would no longer want to be so close.

And he couldn’t lose Shane.

Shane cleared his throat, and Ryan looked up to see the taller man holding a thin white cord. Ryan’s charger.

“It’s here on the bed.” said Shane, brows creasing with perplexion.

“Oh.” Ryan forced out a tinny laugh, dropping his backpack with a defeated slump of his shoulders. He stiffly rose to his feet, knowing better than to jostle his body too much without any protection in the underwear department.

“Thanks.” Ryan tensely reached out and took the cord from Shane, nervously passing it back and forth between his hands as he internally debated what the fuck to do now.

Shane suddenly climbed off the bed, kneeling down beside his own backpack. Ryan frowned, watching him with confusion as he shuffled things around in the bag for a moment.

Then, Shane stood and held out his hand to Ryan across the bed.

Eyes wide, Ryan’s shocked gaze combed over the pad and tampon clutched in Shane’s long fingers.

“How…?” Was all Ryan could manage.

“It’s good to keep them on hand…” Shane said with a small shrug of his shoulders, still holding his arm out to Ryan, “Just in case.”

Ryan’s fingers were shaking as he reached out and took the items from Shane, shuddering when their hands brushed. He looked down at the pad and tampon, now in his own hands. It was even his brand.

“You know?” Ryan asked, not meeting Shane’s eyes. His voice was just short of a whisper.

Shane offered Ryan a small, knowing smile, “We’ve been sharing hotel rooms for like, two years now. Do you really think I’m _that_ oblivious?”

Ryan was truly at a loss for words. Not only did Shane know he was trans, but he paid such close attention that he knew the fucking brand of tampons Ryan used. And he went out, to the store, by himself, and _bought_ some to have in case _Ryan_ needed them?

“Don’t tell me I got this wrong?” Shane’s voice was now taking on a new type of worry, an embarrassed panic.

“No!” Ryan blurted out, “You got it...you got it exactly right, Shane.”

“Oh.” the older man’s shoulders relaxed, “That’s good.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Ryan demanded, “Tell me that you knew?”

Shane quirked an eyebrow up, as if he was surprised by the question, “I dunno? It didn’t make a difference to me. I felt like if you thought it was important, you would’ve said something. Otherwise, who cares?”

Warmth swelled through Ryan’s chest at his best friend’s words. He was overwhelmed with love for this man, and for a brief moment, he forgot that he couldn't have Shane. Then, when he remembered, the warmth turned icy cold and shot daggers of pain through his body.

“Shit.” Was all he could muster.

“I’m sorry if I crossed a line here.” Shane said softly, “It just...I figured, well. I thought you might need them.”

“Why do you have these?” Ryan found himself asking, holding up the care items in his hand, “Why are you carrying these around?”

“In case you needed them.” Shane replied matter-of-factly.

“But _why_?” Ryan insisted, “Why do you care if I forget tampons?”

Shane scoffed in disbelief, “Why wouldn’t I care Ryan?”

“Because we’re not-that’s not- it isn’t your job to care!” Ryan knew he was being overdramatic, and probably freaking the hell out of Shane. But he couldn’t help it. He was overwhelmed and shocked by this information, and frankly, he was hurting just knowing that this amazing man couldn’t be his.

“Well maybe I _want_ it to be my job!” Shane snapped, crossing his arms over his chest.

Taken aback, Ryan could only ask, “ _What_?”

Sighing loudly, Shane uncrossed his arms, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his hazel eyes shut. He was quiet for a moment, and only the sound of their breathing filled the air.

Then, quietly, Shane said, “Because I’m in love with you, man.”

If Ryan had been in disbelief before, he was now on a completely different wavelength of understanding. He couldn’t possibly be hearing Shane correctly, could he? But he couldn’t even consider those possibilities. He just stared at Shane, slack-jawed.

“I didn’t want to say anything.” Shane continued, “I didn’t wanna mess up our friendship or the show.”

“You’re...in _love_ with me?” Ryan asked, eyes wide.

Shane snorted, “Duh.”

Duh.

“ _Duh?_!” Ryan hissed, “Why wouldn’t you say something to me, you fucking asshole?!”

“Whoa!” Shane threw his hands up in defense, “What are you talking about?”

“I’ve been fucking in love with you for three years, dickhead! Why would you not tell me you felt the same?!”

“Why didn’t _you_ tell _me_?!” Shane hit back.

Ryan faltered. He didn’t really have a good answer to that. He supposed it was the same reasoning as Shane had.

“We’re idiots.” He said after a moment of silence.

Shane chuckled shortly, “So...you love me too?”

“Of course I do.” Ryan responded, “How could I not?” he held up his hand again, “You got me tampons.”

“Not as nice as a bouquet of roses.” Shane said.

“No.” Ryan shook his head, “ _Better_.”

Shane inhaled gently, eyes roaming Ryan’s face with awe before he asked, “Can I kiss you?”

“Please do.”

In a swift motion, Shane had crossed the bed and placed his hands on Ryan’s cheeks. Their eyes met for a brief moment, and then he leaned in, pressing his lips against Ryan’s.

In that moment, everything Ryan had wanted fell into place. He sank into Shane’s body, deepening the kiss with fervor. The tampons fell from his hand as he wrapped his arms around Shane’s neck, tangling his fingers in Shane’s shaggy brown hair. Shane’s breath smelled like mint, and his freshly washed skin was aromatic with lavender soap. It was better than he could’ve ever dreamed.

After a minute or two, Shane broke his lips free of Ryan’s, pulling his face a few inches away and inhaling deeply. His eyes closed, and a smile broke out over his face.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to do that.” Shane murmured.

“Right back atcha, big guy.” Ryan breathed.

For a second they just stood there, catching their breath, gazes meeting as they both absorbed the reality that this was truly happening. They weren't dreaming, or imagining it. Ryan and Shane had kissed. This was the start of something incredible.

Then, Ryan shifted uncomfortably, remembering how all of this had started. He pulled away, and Shane’s eyes grew wide with worry.

“It’s all good.” Ryan assured him, bending down to pick up the discarded tampon, “ I just uh… need to tend to this.”

“Oh right.” Shane nodded, “Uh...good luck.”

Ryan snorted out a laugh, “Thanks.”

Ryan stepped back into the bathroom to take care of his business, moving somewhat robotically as he poured over the events of the past ten minutes. He couldn’t believe the direction this night had taken, but he most certainly wasn’t complaining.

As he washed his hands after finishing up, he remembered that the camera had been rolling during that whole situation. He’d have to remind Shane to delete all the footage before morning.

Though, it wouldn’t be too horrible to relive that kiss just one more time.

He clicked off the bathroom light, and headed into the room to find solace in Shane’s welcoming arms.


End file.
